As a young boy I became obsessed with psychology, spirituality, and “logic” in the search for the truth about my mother’s state of mind, after she had vanished one day – only to return insane and a completely different person. Growing up is always tough for all of us but for some it’s too tough to face in youth … so they then are made to face it through their whole lives in effort to go back, back to that place of early torment, to face it all over again. Forgiving the self is tough when you’re in denial of your suffering, or why. For my inner child, it’s a conflict that would further echoe irony throughout adulthood life, until settled to listen to everyone in life telling me “Not be so hard on yourself”.
An Emotional True Story and Autobiography about a Twisted Fate, a Tragic Upbringing, and a young boy Seeking Understanding in a Life Chaotic.
” My mother was beautiful, genius.
“One song she used to sing to us over and over when we were young, was – “blind fiddler”. An old folk song about a man who lost his eyes in an accident, leaving home to not be a burden to his children and wife, wondering lost in the world, thinking about his family. It always seemed like such a strange song to sing to your kids until I grew older and connected the dots. She had been preparing us.”.